just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
