I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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