Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
