pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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