she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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