Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
