Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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