Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
