She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize