dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
