Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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