I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
