so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
