I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
