I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize