I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
