He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
