she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
