I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize