Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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