ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
