You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
