Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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