I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
there is puke in my bra ... again
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