Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
