Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
