then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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