Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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