I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
