Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
