Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
