Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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