North Korea, Best Korea!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
