You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
this hospital has no fireball
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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