question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
