Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
