You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize