I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
