I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
