if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
