Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
