I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
