His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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