Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
