If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize