i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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