I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I will pee on everything he values.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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