Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
