my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
