Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
