hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
