Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
