talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
