Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
