seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
