Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
