Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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