Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
