did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
