Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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