dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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