just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Damn victory sex feels great
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
