Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
