The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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