yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
